Jack's Feedback

Jack watched our whole piece today and, again, said that it was really good. He gave us some more helpful hints on how to improve it. Firstly, by correcting Raphy's Yorkshire accent by telling him that Ian Brady was Scottish! And then he told us that the interview scene was too long and felt a little slow, so we thought we would cut it down to just the important questions. He also told us that we should take out the question of Alex asking Raphy's name - because it becomes too obvious for the audience. I think by leaving that little bit of secrecy it makes it a little less obvious and makes our piece more open to all the themes that could be explored around child abuse, rather than focusing on just one story.

He also told us that the sound worked really well, because of the space we have, we have very good acoustics and this allows us to really be able to project our voices and still carries the sound when we're not screaming, e.g. the singing sounds really effective.

Jack also gave us the really helpful point, that Sarah and Raphy's contact improvisation scene was too nice and that he thinks their relationship would be darker and more cold. So we went inside and still kept the beginning of it, where they bump into each other and have a romantic meeting, but then it gets more sinister as Raphy starts to hurt her and they start to fight and roll on the floor, whilst stopping occasionally to look like they're going to kiss, to keep the real emotion in their relationship and what kept them together. I think that this really helped to improve our piece, as we now have a longer section that reveals a lot more of our story all through movement.